Long And Winding Road In The Valley Of Life (My Story)

Note: Tulisan ini adalah terjemahan Basa Enggres bebas (saduran) dari artikel ini

After the reunion of junior high school friends held yesterday, made me remember the past.

I.e., the memories when I was a teenager.

The time it was the most beautiful time but was also the most challenging era of my life.

I sat in junior high school between 1991 and 1993. And at that time I was a student who was 'problematic' at school. The reason is: I often do not go to school (ditching).

Yeah! In the past I often not go to class, because I had to help my parents' work.

My father is a tailor. He received formal/semi-formal clothing orders.

He opened a sewing business in Susukan area. Its location is near the complex of the elite army (Koppasus), Cijantung East Jakarta.

At that time I was 3rd grade junior (in 1993). That's when I was obliged by my father to help with his work. Dad required the assignment to me because he had not been able to hire an employee. At that time my family had just three years of migrating from our hometown in Padang to the city of Jakarta.

Having just migrating, of course, the economic condition of our family is still complicated. Because our family has just pioneered the business, and it requires a process that is not easy. Moreover, the competition of life in the city of Jakarta is harsh and 'cruel.'

Therefore, as the eldest son, I feel obliged to help my parents.

However, on the other hand, unfortunately, the father is less able to understand the position of his son who is still in school.

The obligation to help the parents is a perfect thing.

It's just that,,,, my father misunderstood the doctrine that my grandfather had taught, that a child should help his parents, whatever the circumstances.

In the past, when my father was a teenager, he was also required by my grandfather to help his work (my grandfather was also a tailor).

And for most of the day, my father spends his time helping grandfather's work at his sewing kiosk.

There was no time to play and no time study for my father.

My grandfather's main mistake was: he was not able to set a proportionate 'dose' a child to help his parents.

Is it because of the difficult economic conditions, make a parent have to 'force' his child to help all he work?

So that the child does not have a chance to learn again?

Is it being lost playing time? And there's no time to socialize with friends anymore?

What a mistake!

By doing so, grandfather had 'exploited' My father, and my father also unfortunately also did the same to me.

Their mistake is: they think that their child's position should be the same as them. So there is some wrong way of thinking. Maybe this happens because of their ignorance. The parents in the past usually are not well educated, so they do not understand this much.

So,,,,, each person has their duties and functions.

A child's function is to go to school and study diligently so that he can succeed in the future. And the task of parents is to work and earn a living to finance all the needs of his family.

Well, what happened to my grandfather and father? I.e., all that duties and functions were not they put in 'place should.' That is their mistake.

I have promised myself if I have a child one day, then I will set a fair portion for them. I.e., the balance between the rights and obligations of a child. They are not spoiled, nor are they treated harshly (authoritarian / exploiting).

Other exciting readings: MY MOTHER, A SUPERWOMAN AND A VERY PERSISTENT MERCHANT

It is enough of my grandfather, father and myself to have felt all the pain of that wrong understanding. The mistake (partially) parents are to force their child's. They push their children to become too mature soon.

O my dear father,,, indeed it is a mistake.

What is the cause?

Because when a 15-year-old teenager has been forced to work, it can cause the child to feel depressed and lose the beauty of his teenage years.

And that's what happened to me.

That's why I had experienced depressed when I was 20 years old.

Yeah! "I had become a naughty young man!".

Since 1998 until 2002, I was plunged dr*gs. However, I am quite grateful because God is still saving me.

At the end of 2002, I was determined to leave all the 'turbulence' of my teenage years. Really,,,, when I had experienced the inner turmoil. I had to choose between two options: to satisfy my teenager's desires (because my teenage years had disappeared but with the consequences of my future falling apart), or to unleash all that had passed, and begin to set the future for the better.

Thank goodness I was given strength by God to take the right path. So that my future can be saved until now. This story I have ever written in a separate article. Here's the article: YOU WANT TO SUCCEED? TRY TO GO WANDER!

The flashback topic for a moment, ie., to the past in my junior and senior high school.

So, since my time is much spent on working to help my father,  as a result, my school gets messy. In every day, I work and sew clothes at the father's kiosk. In addition to sewing, the other job is ironing clothes or go buy the ingredients stitches to the market. All of it I do every day. Nonstop since coming home from school (at 1:00 pm) until my father's sewing kiosk closes (at 9 pm).

That's how I am. A teenager is 15 years old, but my daily life at that time like a parent with five children. :-D

As I have mentioned above, it all comes from the misconception of parents who want their children to be just like themselves. ☺

I am the eldest son, and I have five siblings.

For the size of teenagers living such a life is very heavy. Moreover, my father was a tough and authoritarian man once. There was almost no sense of tolerance for me. Dad is less understanding of the feelings of his son who entered adolescence.

I believe, my father never meant to hurt me. His attitude to me maybe is caused by the doctrine of the grandfather who has been deeply embedded in him. Or it could also be caused by complicated life pressures at the time. So it makes my father 'err' and becomes too hard on his children.

As I explained at the opening of this article, that in the early 90s the economic condition of our family was severe.

Even to eat, at that time we could barely afford it. The peak occurred in the year '97 - '98 when the country Indonesia experienced a monetary crisis. At that time it was so difficult to buy rice, so my mother had secretly cooked 'aking' rice (rice that came from dry rice, then dried and re-cooked).

At the end of the 90s, I was in high school. At this time I more often ditch the school. All that happened because I was too busy working to help my family's economy, which made me no longer focus on going to school.

As a result, my school performance dropped, even I could not go to class.

What keeps me from going to class is because I've skipped school for three months. The fatal cause is because I also often do not take the national final exam.

The incident of this classroom left me quite devastated because before that I was known as a student who achieves enough in school. As a result, I tend to 'forfeit' (away from my friends and like to sit alone in the back of the classroom).

The pressure of my life continues..,,., even heavier...,,,,

And I keep trying to fight to stay be patient....,,,,,

My father became more authoritarian, selfish and violent. Finally, in 2003, I ran away from home. I went abroad and wandered to various places far away. At that time I joined a merchant group at various bazaar events and night markets (entertainment merry-go-round). It was at this time that I began to seek experience as a trader.

Life in the night market is also tough because I not stay at home.

If the bazaar and night market is held outside the city (such as Lampung province, Cirebon, Banten, Seaport, etc.), then I have to sleep in the middle of the night market. Sometimes I sleep under a friend's tent. ☺

To increase income, in the morning I also went to trade to the morning market (vegetable market).

My life in this night market lasted from 2003 to 2005.

In 2005 the night market event began to desert. This happens because the open field for night market venues is becoming increasingly difficult to find / rarely exists (as more and more buildings are erected).

Another cause is that traders dropped market prices. As a result, trading in the night market has no reasonable prospects anymore. So in the middle of 2005, I left the night market event.

I kept thinking and racking my brain: What business would I be next doing?

Finally, I decided to my hometown, the city of Padang. For learning to be a mechanic in my uncle workshop. I worked while studying in this workshop for two years, i.e., from 2007 until 2009. After all the skills as a mechanic I've got, then at the end of 2009, I went back to Jakarta.

Other exciting readings: WANDERING TO THE CITY OF PADANG (My Story)

I have a pretty good savings account, which is accumulated from my hard work during trading at the night market and working as a mechanics repair shop.

I already have a plan to open a workshop in Jakarta. But it was tough to get a store with a large parking lot in Jakarta while a workshop would need a large parking lot.

Finally, I went back to my basic as a merchant. And this time I chose to pursue a career as a toy merchant. In 2010 I opened my first toy store.

I never thought, and indeed beyond expectations..,..,,,, it turns out after becoming a toy merchant is the beginning of my success after going through a variety of obstacles and a long struggle.

My toy store has been growing steadily until now. Even I can open a toy store branch in 2014.

My success was finally achieved, having passed a long, steep and winding journey for about 25 years (since I was still in school).

Thank you, God,,,,,,,

Six years ago (3 months before I got married), while shedding tears, my father apologized for all his past mistakes to me. And I also sincerely forgive all his mistakes.

This is my story, a long and winding road in the valley of life. In this article, I have written almost all the journey of my life. 

Hopefully, this story can be useful and be an inspiration to you all. If you feel this article is helpful, then share it. Probably, it can be beneficial for your other colleagues.